OMGSNAX!

so OMGSNAX! went on a little spring break hiatus last week, which i thought about playing off as intentional but which in reality was a product of my heinous work schedule + some other conflicts that i can’t really remember right now but which were totally legit. i made an easy pasta con broccoli the week before but i could barely bother to write about it b/c it was so simple & delicious that it wasn’t any fun! don’t get me wrong — i like tasty food as much as the next girl, but where’s the hilarity in a successful recipe??? half the fun is when everything gets all jacked up, & SPEAKING OF JACKED UP, welcome to peanut curry with sweet potato & spinach!! hork!

[[04.07.06, edited to add some reader comments & suggestions at the end]]

INGREDIENTS
2 teaspoons canola or vegetable oil
1 large onion, chopped
1 2-inch piece fresh ginger, peeled & grated
4 garlic cloves, minced
1/2 cup loosely packed minced cilantro
1 red bell pepper, roasted, peeled, & chopped
1 jalapeno pepper, roasted, peeled, & chopped
1 tablespoon ground cumin
2 teaspoons whole mustard seeds
2 teaspoons ground coriander
1 teaspoon ground turmeric
1 teaspoon paprika
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper, or more to taste
2 large tomatoes, peeled, seeded, & chopped
1 medium sweet potato, peeled & chopped
1 pound potatoes, preferably yukon gold, peeled & cut into bite-sized pieces
1/4 cup coconut milk
2 tablespoons smooth peanut butter (with no added oil, sugar, or salt)
1 pound collard greens, stemmed & coarsely chopped
2 cups cooked beans, such as chickpeas, rattlesnake, or tongues of fire, drained & rinsed

METHOD
heat the oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. when it’s hot, add the onion, ginger, garlic, & cilantro. reduce the heat to medium & sauté, stirring often, until the onion is soft & translucent, about 7 minutes. add the bell pepper, jalapeno, cumin, mustard seeds, coriander, turmeric, paprika, & cayenne. stir to blend. stir in the tomatoes, sweet potato, & potatoes. cover & let simmer over medium-low, until the potatoes have cooked through, about 15 minutes.

combine the coconut milk & peanut butter, & stir until smooth. add them to the skillet along with the collards & beans. cook until the collards turn bright green, about 4 minutes. cover & let the curry sit for 20 minutes before serving.

DEVIATIONS & OBSERVATIONS
ok, first off, you know substitutions have to be made: caroline said that collard greens are bitter, so i switched spinach in instead, & i 86ed the beans altogether b/c i forgot to soak the stupid chickpeas overnight & only had a can of kidney beans which just didn’t look very appealing with the rest of the dish.

also, we all know that there’s no way all of this would fit in a skillet. GET SERIOUS, JERKO. i put it all in big stockpot & that worked just fine.

oh, & to get one more not-so-petty detail out of the way: 20 minutes of preparation time? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR DAMN MIND??? if i told you it took me almost two hours to get everything prepped, i wouldn’t be lying. ALMOST TWO HOURS. OK. just keep that in mind as i tell you about making this recipe.

just SOME of the prepped ingredients:
spinach, ginger, cilantro, roasted red pepper & jalapeno

more prepped ingredients:
potatoes (sweet & yukon gold), peppers again, onion, peeled & seeded tomatoes

now i’m not sure if you know this, b/c i didn’t till i first tried to make manicotti with fresh spinach (& ps, my mom’s recipe is awesome & maybe i’ll get that together for you sometime in the near future), but spinach cooks down a hell of a lot, so while a pound of uncooked spinach can (& did) fill a huge stockpot, once the leaves start cooking, they wilt & leave you with a much more manageable amount. had i not known this, i would’ve been tempted to cut way back on the spinach, so a helpful hint from me to you: DON’T.

so i learned how to roast peppers before, & i basically followed the same general principle this time around, though i didn’t douse them with oil before i put them in the oven. they charred a bit, but i guess i forgot that they need to get REALLY BLACK all around or the skin just doesn’t want to come off very easily. so i sort of half-assed it. WHATEVER, YOU WOULD’VE DONE THE SAME.

& after watching ridiculous amounts of the food network off & on since college, i have to admit to being a tiny bit panicky about working with a hot pepper, which i’d avoided up to this date b/c i’d heard horror stories (from alton brown & rachael ray, among others) about people burning their eyes, going insane, etc etc, so i was nervous about the jalapeno but ultimately, it was fine. i know the hot part is the seeds, so when i was seeding it, i was very careful to wear plastic bags over both hands (since i’m notorious for wiping my hands on my pants & then touching my face), & i felt kinda dumb but i didn’t go blind, & isn’t that all we can ask for in this day & age? to maybe not be blinded by our delicious hot peppers?

dealing with the tomatoes was a royal pain in my ass, too — moreso than the peppers for some reason, even though secretly they were WAY easier to peel (slice through the skin a couple times near the stem & dump them in some boiling water for maybe 30 seconds, remove, cool, & peel!) — & of course there was the stemming & tearing of the spinach, the peeling & chopping of the potatoes, & the peeling & grating of the ginger to add more & more time to the initial prep work. seriously, 20 minutes? are these people just insane? i don’t understand how that works.

peeled tomato

the obligatory “sautéeing onions” shot

once everything was finally ready, though, it was pretty easy to cook & assemble. i made up a few servings of rice while everything simmered, although it turned out that i had to double the time once the potatoes were added b/c they just wouldn’t get soft. it was definitely a smart move to make that pizza to tide us over, b/c eating dinner at 830pm? does not fly in this household.

simmer simmer simmer

with spinach & peanut sauce

so i guess you want to know how it tasted.

in a word: bland.

yeah, i know, it shocked me, too. how can something with all those spices be bland? & yet. & yet it just was. caroline said: “it tastes like rice & potatoes.” & that’s pretty much it. so, you know, if i’d spent 15 minutes making rice & potatoes, fine — but over two hours of work? HELL NO. i can barely bother listing out potential improvements; i mean, i guess maybe more bell peppers? 100% sweet potato instead of a sweet potato/yukon gold combination? more ginger & garlic? more sauce in general? i don’t even know.

daniel’s plate (sans spinach)

my plate

i mean, it wasn’t BAD — we all ate it, caroline, brian, even daniel (i set some aside for him without spinach & peanut sauce b/c he doesn’t like either of those things) — but would i make it again? uh, as my cousin jennifer would say, MONKEYS. as in, MONKEYS will need to fly out of my ass before i make this again.

the infamous brian potts & daniel

 

READER COMMENTS
moose says:
the recipe says to add the cilantro with the onion?! that is SO MUCH BULLSHIT. cilantro won’t taste like anything if you cook it that long! it’s a garnish. (i love cilantro, my mom cooks it too long, i get shouty.) also, that does look more like two hours of prep time to me. cookbooks always lie about prep time.

i jalapenoed my nose/lips once and owwwww. later i read somewhere that the thing to do in a jalapeno face emergency is splash contact lens solution on your skin. who knew?

meg says:
Spinach’s ability to shrink also freaked me out the first time I sauteed it. Seriously, it just GOES AWAY.

Also, wtf were collard greens doing in a curry recipe to begin with? Also tomatoes and beans? Where were the yummy curry vegetables? Like carrots? Carrots taste good in curry! Also so does tofu! Shit, vegan cookbook, give it up for tofu! Also it seems like roasting veggies before sauteeing them is the recipe fundamentally misunderstanding what a sautee/curry recipe should be. I’m guessing the roast was meant to seal in some sort of flavor, but if it came off bland regardless, they were totally wasting your time.

I feel like the fact that the coconut milk and peanut was added last was one of the big faults of this recipe. Since a curry sauce is all about the sauce, shouldn’t we COOK it with the spices, not “combine” and then “let sit”?! I want my liquid there AT THE SCENE, like I’d do when I was making soup. Cook the veggies, add the liquid, then spice it and cook it.

Wow, I’ve never had such a strong reaction to OMG SNAX. I’m gonna go cool off.

schlaf says:
sweet potatoes
you are obsessed with them!!
also, I like collard greens, when they are garlicky. but I was wondering if they would have absorbed the spices more than spinach?? (less watery) - just a thought.
not that I’ll ever try that recipe, though. way too many ingredients.
blah.

 

 

“Peanut Curry with Sweet Potato & Collard Greens” from The Essential Vegetarian Cookbook by Diana Shaw, © 1997.