OMGSNAX!

i picked this out at the last minute b/c i knew that i needed to squeeze in a fourth recipe before june ended & as i’d crapped out during the middle of the month due to other time commitments, i needed to come up with something a little more challenging than, say, french toast. which i considered!

INGREDIENTS
sauce:
3 rounded tablespoons hoisin sauce
3 tablespoons dark soy, eyeball it
3 tablespoons water, eyeball it
2 teaspoons hot sauce, eyeball it

everything lo mein:
1 pound spaghetti
salt
1/4 cup vegetable oil, divided
2 large eggs, beaten
3 chicken breast cutlets, thinly sliced into strips
3 thin-cut pork chops, thinly sliced into strips
black pepper
2 teaspoons ground coriander
2 inches fresh ginger, chopped or grated
4 cloves garlic, finely chopped
6 scallions, cut into 3-inch lengths then sliced lengthwise
1/2 pound shiitake mushrooms, chopped
1 red bell pepper, cut into quarters, seeded, then sliced
1 small can sliced water chestnuts
2 cups fresh bean sprouts, 4 generous handfuls, or 1/2 pound shredded cabbage, your choice

METHOD
mix together sauce ingredients & reserve.

bring pasta water to a boil, salt water & cook spaghetti to al dente.

while pasta cooks, heat a tablespoon of vegetable oil in a large, nonstick skillet over high heat. when oil ripples, add beaten eggs & scramble them to light golden brown, remove & reserve.

season the meat with salt, pepper & coriander. heat the remaining vegetable oil to a ripple, then add meat & stir-fry 4 minutes, push meat to the side & add ginger, garlic & veggies. stir-fry veggies 2 minutes, then drain & add pasta & eggs back to skillet. pour sauce over the spaghetti & toss to combine. turn off pan. toss 30 seconds & let the liquids absorb.

DEVIATIONS & OBSERVATIONS
dear rachael ray,

spaghetti? are you serious? b/c they sell lo mein noodles at most grocery stores these days. like, even aldi carries it, probably. come on now hey.

sincerely yours,
the lo mein club

plus i think the lo mein noodles were cheaper. so whatever. oh, & they were kind of awesome to cook, b/c they came in three wafer-style sheets & cooked in a big block, like ramen (RA MEIN??), although they were kind of a big sticky mess after they sat in the colander for a few minutes (& i even followed the directions on the package & tossed them with a little oil to separate them out!).

cooked mein, looks like BRAIN!

i did, of course, futz around with this recipe some, b/c although the first rule of Lo Mein Club is you don’t talk about Lo Mein Club, the second rule is BROCCOLI. like, seriously, buy some. if you need help justifying it, well, ok: obviously i eliminated the meat, so i partially made up for it in volume by adding a head of broccoli & a sliced carrot. how’s that? (i bet baby corn & bamboo shoots would’ve been a nice addition, too.)

broccoli & bell pepper

cabbage, carrot, & mushrooms

i also steamed the vegetables a little in the wok after stirfrying them (which, thank god & grandpa for the wok, by the way, b/c there’s no skillet in which this all would’ve fit comfortably, like, what the hell?), b/c they would’ve been totally way too raw otherwise (especially the broccoli), & i actually stir-fried them with the spices that would’ve been used on the meat, which i thought was pretty clever of me.

stir-fried vegetables

the ginger was kind of a disaster as the piece i had was something i’d frozen a few months ago, & maybe i didn’t thaw it long enough or something, but it seemed sorta mushy & gross, so i used a little ground ginger instead. i also cut way back on the mushrooms b/c they squick me out, but in retrospect, i probably could’ve used closer to the full amount than i did as they were virtually undetectable. & you know, i wish i’d overruled daniel on the bean sprouts, b/c i think they would’ve been way better than the cabbage i actually used, but he thinks bean sprouts are gross & would’ve refused to eat the dish had i used them, so i compromised on that. the cabbage was fine, but 1/2 a pound wasn’t really all that much once everything else was thrown in there! i guess i could’ve used more of everything, really — at least, vegetable-wise.

lo mein sauce

giving it one final toss

no complaints about the sauce or the seasoning — it tasted like lo mein & was a little too greasy (like most lo meins i’ve had), but i thought it was pretty good. it fed five of us comfortably with no leftovers at all, which reinforced my feeling that, although i prefer cooking by myself most times, i ultimately prefer cooking FOR people besides myself.

sarah takes the first bite

angel is not amused

 

 

“Everything Lo Mein” from 30 Minute Meals with Rachael Ray.

my grandma is a really good baker.

actually, both of them are. my dad’s mom’s specialities as a baker are christmas cookies (we usually make a minimum of a dozen different types every year), grape pies, angelfood cakes, & peach cobblers. my mom’s mom’s specialities are strudel, spritz cookies, hamentaschen/munn cookies, & banana cakes.

of course, as a kid i favored zebra cookies made by my grandma paula (mom’s mom), primarily b/c of the chocolate involvement. so i called her up & had her dictate the recipe to me so i could give it a shot. she told me that it’s written on the back of a university city political flier, which would make it over forty years old (as they moved to their current house out of u city in the mid-’60s). she thinks she copied it out of a magazine while she was getting her hair done.

it’s true: my grandmas are pretty much awesome.

INGREDIENTS
1/3 of a stick of butter
2 oz bitter chocolate
1 cup flour
1/3 cup sugar
1 t baking powder
1/4 t salt
2 eggs
1 t vanilla
1/2 cup powdered sugar

METHOD
melt butter & chocolate in a double boiler. in a medium mixing bowl, sift flour, sugar, salt, & baking powder. add melted chocolate mixture, eggs, & vanilla, & stir with a heavy spoon till well-mixed. refrigerate for at least two hours.

preheat the oven to 375F. roll teaspoons of the chilled dough into balls the size of a walnut, then roll in powdered sugar. bake for 7 minutes.

DEVIATIONS & OBSERVATIONS
so this is a pretty easy recipe to make, even if you, say, don’t have a double boiler. which i don’t. i’ve made brownies enough times to know to melt chocolate on low/medium-low heat so it doesn’t get scorched, & to melt it only about three-quarters of the way on the heat, allowing it to finish up on a cold burner so the chocolate doesn’t burn. so, you know, i’ve got that going for me!

i WILL say that this is one sticky dough, though. hence the chilling, without which it’d be pretty much unworkable.

so sticky

the cookies spread a lot so they need to be pretty far apart

i also suspect that perhaps the recipe calls for 1/3 of a cup of butter, not 1/3 of a stick (which is only 2 tablespoons plus 2 teaspoons), although my grandma stood by her 1/3 of a stick measurement after much prodding so i might be mistaken.

these cookies baked up a little cakier than what i’m used to, which i’d initially attributed to not enough butter (even if my grandma insists otherwise, b/c, after all, she’s also known for egregious butter substitutions, like applesauce or olive oil, which, i’m sorry, but no) — but which i now think may have something to do with the cookie sheets i’ve been using. (my other grandma gave them to me when i first moved b/c they bake hotter than the rest of her sheets & it’s sort of a pain to deal with.)

the long & short of it, though, is that these cookies are way easy & also very tasty. although this particular recipe only makes about two dozen cookies, which, ok, i’m not sure how that could EVER be enough cookies for ANYONE, but maybe it worked b/c people were a lot smaller forty years ago? just a guess.

so puffy!

 

 

“Zebra Cookies” from my grandma paula, who thinks she got it from a magazine.

meg & i have been trying to do a dinner get-together for quite some time, & now that she’s taken on the task of cooking for her entire family this summer while she’s home from school, she’s trying out a bunch of recipes — including this tortellini salad, which we adapted for meatlessness & whipped up in under half an hour!

INGREDIENTS
16 ounces cheese-filled tortellini
1 green bell pepper, thinly sliced
1 red bell pepper, julienned
1/2 small red onion, julienned
1/2 cup sliced black olives
1/2 cup crumbled feta cheese
1/4 cup olive oil
2 teaspoons grated lemon zest, minced
1/4 cup lemon juice
2 tablespoons ground walnuts
1 tablespoon honey

METHOD
cook pasta in a large pot of boiling salted water until al dente. drain & cool under cold water. refrigerate until chilled.

prepare the dressing in a small bowl by whisking together the olive oil, lemon zest, lemon juice, walnuts, & honey. refrigerate until chilled.

in a salad bowl, combine pasta, peppers, red onion, & olives. add lemon dressing & feta cheese, toss & serve.

DEVIATIONS & OBSERVATIONS
meg said that when she made this for her family, she wound up making more dressing than the recipe called for — but since it was just the two of us, we halved the ingredients for the salad part but just made the same amount of dressing. i’m also fairly certain i stayed with the full 1/2 cup of feta cheese, but that’s b/c i happen to know for a fact that salads can never have too much cheese. it’s science.

so the thing about this recipe was that it was RIDICULOUSLY easy. like, i almost felt afterwards that it’d be cheating to put it up — it was that easy! but how could i rob you of the opportunity to try it for yourselves? b/c seriously, you should. i don’t even LIKE feta cheese & i thought this was pretty delicious.

of course, i should mention that this was made that much easier b/c meg zested the lemon & cut the onion, &, uh, made the dressing. & also we made fun of rachael ray’s inability to hold her liquor (b/c i’m pretty sure that she’s 100% wasted by the end of every episode of “$40 a day”), although from what i understand, most people can’t stand her so i just feel kinda bad for her. i mean, she might be giggly & overly perky, but at least she’s not a big jerk like bobby flay!

meg chopping the red onion

chilled lemon dressing

yum!

it’s good enough that i’ll be making this in a couple weeks for one of the MANY celebratory potluck lunches my office is having this summer!

 

 

“Tortellini Salad” from meg, who got it off allrecipes.com.