OMGSNAX!

once upon a time, there was a girl who had a storied history with eggplant. this includes the time she struck up a conversation with a seemingly intelligent young man about eggplant’s membership in the nightshade family, & how she was pretty certain she’d read somewhere that eggplant was poisonous if eaten raw. (this turned out to be 100% fiction.) this young man then parlayed this innocuous conversation into an opening to send an email which contained, among other gems, the lines: “I hope you don’t freak on this , but I love to wear make-up and honor my inner Goddess/female anima” & “Linda wants you and Phil to come and hang out at my place one early eve. for mixed drinks/ tea and some neuron Xchange.”

female anima indeed.

i suppose that’s neither here nor there. the fact of the matter is that i AM that girl (!!) & i am suspicious of eggplant. but my e-friend meg (not to be confused with tortellini meg) sent me a link to this recipe with the following comment: “do you think this would taste good? i am dubious.” i’d stalled out in looking for a recipe, putting jalapeno poppers on the back burner for the time being (especially when considering this tropical heatwave we’ve been experiencing here in the stl region), & so i latched onto the terrine readily. a cold summer dish? check! involving one of my favorite cheeses? check! & possibly offering an opportunity for eggplant to redeem itself? check!

i got this email from meg the day before our crazy storm (80mph winds! etc!) knocked out my power (& that of 500,000 other people), & so, being without electricity for two days sorta cramped my cooking style, what with the electric fridge (everything perishable — perished! oh noes!) & the electric stove & the electric microwave & the electric FANS & AIR CONDITIONER & OK, when my power finally returned? it was 86 degrees on the first floor of my house & over 90 on the second! so don’t even!!

so here you’ve got it: late, but worth the wait.

INGREDIENTS
3 large red bell peppers (about 1 1/2 lbs)
2 large, long (11″), firm eggplants (about 2 1/2 lbs)
2 tablespoons peanut oil
1 1/2 cups (loose) flat-leaf parsley leaves
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
8 oz of firm brie cheese (or fresh mozzarella), cut into 1/8″ slices (about 14 slices)

tomato sauce:
3 cloves of garlic, peeled & finely chopped
2 to 3 ripe tomatoes (1 1/4 lbs), each cut into 6 to 8 pieces
1/4 cup virgin olive oil
2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/4 teaspoon tabasco sauce

METHOD
prepare the red peppers. arrange the red peppers on a tray & place them under a hot broiler so that their upper surfaces are about 1/2″ from the heat. broil for 15 minutes, turning occassionally, until the peppers are blistered & black on all sides. immediately transfer them to a large plastic bag & seal or tie the bag shut. let the peppers steam in their own residual heat inside the bag for 10 minutes. then peel them (the skin will slide off), split them, & seed them under cool running water. dry the flesh with paper towels.

prepare the eggplants. heat a grill or grill pan until very hot. cut the eggplants lengthwise into 1/2″ slices & lay out flat on a large flat surface such as a baking pan. brush the slices on both sides with the peanut oil, & sprinkle with salt. cook the eggplant slices on the grill, covered, for 4 minutes on each side, until they are nicely browned & softened. if your grill does not have a lid, make a tentlike lid of aluminum foil & place it over the eggplant as it cooks.

prepare the parsley. while the eggplant is grilling, soften the parsley by blanching it in boiling water for 5 to 10 seconds. remove, cool under cold water, drain.

build the terrine. line a terrine mold (loaf pan) with plastic wrap. arrange a layer of eggplant in the bottom of the mold & top it with about a third each of the red pepper pieces, parsley, & cheese. repeat, beginning & ending with a layer of eggplant, until all the ingredients are used. cover with plastic wrap & press on the wrap to compact the mixture. refrigerate.

at this point you can make the terrine in advance & store in the refrigerator until you are ready to serve it.

prepare the sauce. place the garlic & tomatoes in a blender & blend until smooth. push the mixture through a food mill (fitted with a fine screen) over a bowl. add the remainder of the sauce ingredients. mix well.

serve. to serve, pour some of the sauce on a large platter & unmold the terrine in the center. cut it into slices & serve with the remainder of the sauce.

DEVIATIONS & OBSERVATIONS
where to begin, where to begin …

eggplant:
i don’t have a grill. (what?) i don’t even know what a grill pan is. so i decided to pan fry the eggplant — my friend theresa & i made eggplant parmesan once upon a time, & i seemed to remember doing some pan frying at that point, so what could be easier? not to mention that i’m the queen of pan frying, no sweat. unfortunately, eggplant soaks up oil like nobody’s business, so all this made the eggplant a little greasy. plus, i think my slices were a little thin — not quite 1/2″ thick — so they got a little flimsy, too.

raw sliced eggplant

terrine mold:
i halved the recipe b/c, ok, i’m one person & there’s no way i needed to make this whole recipe. i still used a standard-sized loaf pan, though, so the terrine wasn’t as thick as it might have been — i think i had three layers of eggplant (& two of everything else) instead of four & three, respectively. no big deal.

eggplant & roasted peppers

terrine, layer 1

tomato sauce:
a food mill? seriously? b/c no. i added the oil to the tomatoes & garlic in the blender b/c i couldn’t remember what the instructions said (it’d been a day since i’d printed them, as i made the rest of the terrine the afternoon before), but it turned out a-okay. normally, the thought of a gazpacho kind of grosses me out (had a bad experience in high school eating ice cold gazpacho that i expected to be a warm soup), but this cold tomato sauce was really excellent, especially with the mozzarella.

strata!

the rest of it:
so apparently i still dislike eggplant. this + greasy eggplant + greasy roasted peppers = too much slippery slimy vegetable matter. take away the eggplant & the bell peppers, though, & you’re on to something! or maybe i’m just a sucker for fresh mozzarella & tomatoes in ANY format.

i plated the terrine just like i would’ve done had i served it to someone who would’ve been impressed by presentation (it was just me, so i could’ve eaten it out of the loaf pan for all i cared — but no, i had to get the glamor shot for YOU, my patiently waiting public). in fact, i took a fairly hearty slice despite the nagging feeling that i wouldn’t be too enamored of the dish. the first bite with everything all together? was good. by the third bite, though, the gag reflex was kicking in & the eggplant was pushed to one side.

i really wanted this to be good, but i REALLY didn’t like it.

on the upside, caroline’s mom? loves eggplant. & apart from the parsley (which she decided was a misstep), she really dug the terrine. i shuffled the whole thing into a tupperware & had it over at her house within the hour. i was glad to have someone enjoy it, as i’d put a decent amount of work into it, & it sort of validated that it’s not that i’m a bad cook, it’s just that i make bad decisions based on my personal preferences at times. c’est la vie.

 

 

“Eggplant & Red Pepper Terrine” from Today’s Gourmet II: Light & Healthy Cooking for the ’90s by Jacques Pépin, 1992 (via meg: the silkening)

i picked this recipe b/c i’ve been dying to try out the electric hand-mixer my mom gave me a few months ago. my initial choice was the apple crisp (it had an irish whiskey whipped cream) but time didn’t permit, & since then, the mixer’s been sitting in a paper bag on: (1) the floor of my car, (2) a chair in the front room, (3) the window sill by the stairs, & finally (4) a shelf in the kitchen.

INGREDIENTS
1/3 cup whole milk ricotta cheese
2 tablespoons plus 1/3 cup whipping cream
3 tablespoons powdered sugar
pinch ground cinnamon
12 ounces fresh strawberries, hulled, quartered (about 2 1/2 cups)
1/2 dry pint fresh raspberries (about 1 1/4 cups)
1 tablespoon sugar
1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
2 kiwi, peeled, cut into 1/2-inch pieces
3 tablespoons sliced almonds, toasted

METHOD
stir the ricotta & 2 tablespoons of cream in a medium bowl to blend. using an electric mixer, beat the remaining 1/3 cup of cream, powdered sugar, & cinnamon in a large bowl until semi-firm peaks form. fold the ricotta into the whipped cream. place in the refrigerator for at least 30 minutes to stiffen & yield a creamier filling. (can be prepared 4 hours ahead. cover & refrigerate.)

toss the strawberries, raspberries, sugar, & lemon juice in a medium bowl to combine. let stand until juices form, tossing occasionally, about 15 minutes. add the kiwi.

spoon the fruit mixture into 4 dessert bowls. dollop the ricotta cream atop the fruit. sprinkle with the almonds & serve.

DEVIATIONS & OBSERVATIONS
what could be easier?

making this cannoli cream was really wicked easy. i thought it’d be at least a LITTLE tedious, but it totally wasn’t.

semi-firm peaks

i left out the raspberries (naturally), & i will tell you why: i hate them. i’m not sure WHY i hate them, b/c i haven’t eaten raspberries since i was a little kid, but i feel like it might be partially related to the time my four-year-old sister found a worm wiggling around in her breakfast raspberries.

i left off the almonds, but that was on accident.

strawberries & kiwis & cannoli cream

i think i was hoping it’d be creamier (maybe custardy?) & of course the ricotta made it a little bit dry, but it was still quite good. i also would prefer more sugar, BUT i understand that not everyone likes to smother fresh fruit in unnatural sweetness.

anyway, brian potts took seconds & finished off the cannoli cream entirely, so i guess the consensus was A++ would eat again!

 

 

“Fruit Salad with Cannoli Cream” from Everyday Italian, 2006.

so we returned from urbana (illinois) at 5am & spent the day, no, not sleeping, but GROCERY SHOPPING. b/c i am THAT DEDICATED to this project. & to having food available, yea, & juices to slake my thirst & provide me with vitamin c & calcium & also sugars. delicious, delicious sugars.

sometimes, when i’m at work, i spend my “lunch” “break” (neither a “lunch” nor a “break,” discuss) poking around on the internet looking for interesting recipes to try. emeril’s huevos rancheros was one of these finds. i especially like the part where he thinks we just have three or four skillets hanging around the kitchen. or a fancy deep-fryer, or an electric ice cream maker, or something else inane that we could use to make steak tartare (seriously, so gross).

INGREDIENTS
ranchero sauce:
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 cup chopped white onions
1/2 cup chopped red bell pepper
1/2 cup chopped green bell pepper
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon cayenne
1 tablespoon minced jalapeno
1 teaspoon minced garlic
1 cup chopped tomatoes & their juice
1 cup chicken vegetable stock
3 tablespoons chopped cilantro

2 teaspoons vegetable oil
4 large corn tortillas
1/2 cup warm refried beans
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
8 large eggs
1 1/2 cups pepper jack

METHOD
to make the ranchero sauce, in a medium pot, heat the oil over medium-high heat. add the onions & bell peppers & cook, stirring, for 3 to 5 minutes. add the cumin, salt, cayenne, jalapeno, & garlic & cook, stirring, for 30 seconds. add the tomatoes & their juices & cook, stirring, for 2 minutes. add the stock & simmer until thickened, about 15 minutes. remove from the heat & add the cilantro. adjust the seasoning to taste & cover to keep warm.

in a large skillet, heat 1/2 teaspoon of vegetable oil over medium-high heat. add 1 tortilla & cook until warmed through & just starting to brown, about 30 seconds. turn & cook on the second side. remove, cover to keep warm, & repeat with the remaining oil & tortillas.

in 2 medium skillets, melt 1 tablespoon of butter each over medium-high heat. break 4 eggs into each skillet & fry until beginning to set, about 1 minute. sprinkle the eggs with the cheese & cover to finish cooking, about 1 1/2 minutes.

place 1 warm tortilla on each of 4 plates & spread each with 2 tablespoons of warm refried beans. Place 2 eggs on top of each tortilla & top with the warm ranchero sauce. serve immediately.

DEVIATIONS & OBSERVATIONS
so call me slow, but i’ve recently begin to appreciate the benefits of prep work. i always used to half-ass it & then scramble to get the remaining ingredients prepped as i cooked, but lately i’ve been getting everything assembled & measured & chopped before even getting started, & there’s really a lot to be said for this approach.

just a portion of the prepped ingredients

all things being equal, though, a lot of this chopping went into making the ranchero sauce, which amounted to little more than a fresh salsa. it tasted good & all, don’t get me wrong, but i probably could’ve heated up some of whatever i’ve got in my fridge & i wouldn’t have really been able to tell the difference.

& speaking of the ranchero sauce, it really WILL thicken, even though it looks really liquidy once the stock is added.

simmering ranchero sauce

the only other adjustment i made was cooking up six eggs instead of eight (there were only three of us eating). i probably could’ve scaled back the cheese, but it didn’t occur to me till after it’d been grated.

eggy weggs

oh, & i used flour tortillas instead of corn, b/c that was what i had on hand. corn probably would’ve been a little less soggy, but the flour held up just fine.

daniel, brian, & i decided that these would be totally worth making again, even with the minor hassle that comes with vegetable chopping.

dinner!

 

 

“Huevos Rancheros” from Emeril Live, 2002.