OMGSNAX!

my dear friend (the ever-inventive thaumata) posted this recipe recently & i decided that if she could stay up all night making delicious desserts, well, so could i. i’d last-minuted my way to a house show at MapleHood World Headquarters (aka my house) & felt the urge to provide snacks (especially in light of my new NO BOOZE NO DRUGS NO JERKS rule).

she posted them as Oreo Truffles, but when i told my mom about the recipe, she said that it sounded like a white trash dip one of her co-workers made for a holiday party & i thought that maybe i’d appropriate the name for this dessert as well.

INGREDIENTS
1 8-oz pkg cream cheese
1 pkg oreos
2 1/2 cups chocolate chips
1 cup white chocolate chips

DIRECTIONS
in a blender, grind up 9 oreos & set aside.

grind remaining oreos. combine with softened cream cheese. roll into bite-sized balls, dip into chocolate, sprinkle with reserved oreo crumbs, & drizzle with white chocolate.

refrigerate.

DEVIATIONS & OBSERVATIONS
here’s how to combine the oreos & cream cheese: use a pastry blender! so much easier. other options, in descending order of preference: potato masher, large serving fork, fingers, spoon.

this makes about fifty two-bite truffles — any smaller & they’d get lost in the chocolate. which, speaking of, i still haven’t figured out a good way to dip them in the melted chocolate without burning my fingers in some way, b/c they’re too soft to stay on a fork (even a customized “dipping fork,” aka a plastic fork with the center tines broken out) — but here’s a tip about melting chocolate: use a double boiler. either that, or melt VERY SLOWLY on low heat, b/c the trouble with melting chocolate is that you can make it angry by heating it too much or too quickly & it’ll clump up instead of staying smooth. the double boiler is really best, though — you can just bring the water to a boil in the bottom pot & then remove it from the heat once the chocolate is melted & it should stay exactly how you want it.

i wound up dipping the truffles by hand into the chocolate, then spooning more over the tops to cover up — i just couldn’t come up with an effective enrobing technique. it was a little bit frustrating, but so totally worth it.

the white chocolate drizzling part was my favorite — just melt the white chocolate using the same method, then spoon it into a ziploc bag. make a tiny cut on one of the corner of the bag, & pipe it through over the top of the truffles. very festive!

the best part about this was that i thought enough ahead to line the cookie sheet with parchment paper for easy clean-up — then i just refrigerated the truffles on the cookie sheet for a couple hours till they were set. they were really easy to pull off the parchment paper once the chocolate had hardened, & there was very little mess!

as far as how they tasted: i’ll admit i was a little wary (cream cheese + oreos = ???) but they were SO GOOD. val said that they tasted like love.

 

 

 

“White Trash Truffles” from thaumata

um hi. i took the afternoon off work to make this + latkes with my sister, & so?? what, do you wanna fight about it?

i first found this recipe when trying to figure out what i’d bring for myself on thanksgiving, since normally all i eat is the vegetarian dressing my grandma makes for me & maybe some rolls. (everything else is a bust — either meaty or gross.) i wound up making an artichoke spread — one of my family’s favorite hot appetizers — but bookmarked this recipe for a later date, & as it turns out, the later date was to be the first night of chanukah.

INGREDIENTS
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 (1 1/2 to 2-pound) butternut squash, peeled, seeded, & cut into 1-inch cubes
salt & freshly ground black pepper
1/2 cup water
3 amaretti cookies, crumbled
1/4 cup butter
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
3 1/2 cups whole milk
pinch nutmeg
3/4 cup (lightly packed) fresh basil leaves
12 no-boil lasagna noodles
2 1/2 cups shredded whole-milk mozzarella cheese
1/3 cup grated parmesan

METHOD
cook’s note: the no-boil lasagna noodles can be substituted with fresh spinach lasagna sheets. look for fresh lasagna sheets in the refrigerated section of specialty markets.

heat the oil in a heavy large skillet over medium-high heat. add the squash & toss to coat. sprinkle with salt & pepper. pour the water into the skillet & then cover & simmer over medium heat until the squash is tender, stirring occasionally, about 20 minutes. cool slightly & then transfer the squash to a food processor. add the amaretti cookies & blend until smooth. season the squash purée, to taste, with more salt & pepper.

melt the butter in a heavy medium-size saucepan over medium heat. add the flour & whisk for 1 minute. gradually whisk in the milk. bring to a boil over medium-high heat. reduce the heat to medium & simmer until the sauce thickens slightly, whisking often, about 5 minutes. whisk in the nutmeg. cool slightly. transfer half of the sauce to a blender*. add the basil & blend until smooth. return the basil sauce to the sauce in the pan & stir to blend. season the sauce with salt & pepper, to taste.

position the rack in the center of the oven & preheat to 375 degrees F.

lightly butter a 13 by 9 by 2-inch glass baking dish. spread 3/4 cup of the sauce over the prepared baking dish. arrange 3 lasagna noodles on the bottom of the pan. spread 1/3 of the squash purée over the noodles. sprinkle with 1/2 cup of mozzarella cheese. drizzle 1/2 cup of sauce over the noodles. repeat layering 3 more times.

tightly cover the baking dish with foil & bake the lasagna for 40 minutes. sprinkle the remaining mozzarella & parmesan cheeses over the lasagna. continue baking uncovered until the sauce bubbles & the top is golden, 15 minutes longer. let the lasagna stand for 15 minutes before serving.

*when blending hot liquids: remove liquid from the heat & allow to cool for at least 5 minutes. transfer liquid to a blender or food processor & fill it no more than halfway. if using a blender, release one corner of the lid. this prevents the vacuum effect that creates heat explosions. place a towel over the top of the machine, pulse a few times then process on high speed until smooth.

DEVIATIONS & OBSERVATIONS
i couldn’t find those amaretti cookies to save my life! i considered adding a little almond extract to the squash but ultimately decided against it. i also wound up using apple pie spice instead of nutmeg, b/c i couldn’t find my mom’s nutmeg (it was hidden in a small container on a really high shelf!) & i couldn’t raise her on the phone in time — the apple pie spice was nothing more than cinnamon, nutmeg, & allspice, anyway, so no big change there.

also, am i the only one who has a really tough time with lasagna recipes? how do you divide the squash purée into thirds but have enough for four layers? does “repeat three times” include the first layer? & if so, what of the 12 lasagna noodles? i wouldn’t read it that way, anyway, but DAMN. spell it out for us, b/c that really made no sense to me! i wound up making four full layers, & i had a ton of the basil cream sauce left over b/c i think i mis-interpreted the directions, so i just poured it over the top & crossed my fingers. believe me, it worked out just fine.

in fact, it tasted even better than i’d hoped it would. the cream sauce looked thin but cooked up a-ok, & it really didn’t overwhelm the squash at all the way i’d thought it would given how much basil was in there. i also felt a little dubious that basil would even go well with butternut squash — i see it mostly with sage — but it was FANTASTIC. i’ll make it again & again & again!!

 

 

 

“Butternut Squash Lasagna” from Everyday Italian

i bet your first thought here runs along the lines of, “NO MORE SQUASH RECIPES PLZTHX,” but i’ll have you know that these are christmas cookies, okay? they just happen to have the same name as that most delicious of squashes.

my grandma used to make upwards of a dozen different varieties of christmas cookies when i was younger, packing them in decorative tins for friends & relatives alike. she turned ninety this year & has scaled back production somewhat, but my sister & i are now in on the game, & spent this afternoon assisting with the butternuts — which happen to be my mom’s favorite.

INGREDIENTS
4 sticks (YES) butter, softened
4 cups flour
3 cups finely chopped pecans
10 tablespoons powdered sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla

METHOD
using a pastry blender or a large fork, combine all ingredients in a large bowl. divide dough into eighths, & from each second roll twelve to sixteen small cylinder-shaped cookies (rather than balls). bake at 350 for 20 minutes. immediately after removing from the oven, roll the cookies in more powdered sugar.

DEVIATIONS & OBSERVATIONS
deviations? HA! my grandma’s been making these for approximately one billion years at this point, so i hardly think deviations are in order. if you’re looking for some tricks of the trade, well, there’s not much to say about these cookies: they are ridiculously easy to make, so easy it’s almost embarrassing. five ingredients, one bowl, no mess — the cookies don’t even spread so you can fit close to 50 on a single cookie sheet! this recipe will yield close to 120 cookies if you play your cards right, which most people seem to think is a good thing. (i guess i should probably mention that i don’t usually enjoy powdered sugar OR pecans, so these cookies aren’t really my cup of tea; my sister, however, tried them this year for the first time since we were little kids & seemed to find them inoffensive enough — i mean, she DID eat about three of them while we were boxing them up!)

 

 

 

“Butternuts” from a really old recipe card in my grandma’s kitchen.