OMGSNAX!

so OMGSNAX! went on a little spring break hiatus last week, which i thought about playing off as intentional but which in reality was a product of my heinous work schedule + some other conflicts that i can’t really remember right now but which were totally legit. i made an easy pasta con broccoli the week before but i could barely bother to write about it b/c it was so simple & delicious that it wasn’t any fun! don’t get me wrong — i like tasty food as much as the next girl, but where’s the hilarity in a successful recipe??? half the fun is when everything gets all jacked up, & SPEAKING OF JACKED UP, welcome to peanut curry with sweet potato & spinach!! hork!

[[04.07.06, edited to add some reader comments & suggestions at the end]]

INGREDIENTS
2 teaspoons canola or vegetable oil
1 large onion, chopped
1 2-inch piece fresh ginger, peeled & grated
4 garlic cloves, minced
1/2 cup loosely packed minced cilantro
1 red bell pepper, roasted, peeled, & chopped
1 jalapeno pepper, roasted, peeled, & chopped
1 tablespoon ground cumin
2 teaspoons whole mustard seeds
2 teaspoons ground coriander
1 teaspoon ground turmeric
1 teaspoon paprika
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper, or more to taste
2 large tomatoes, peeled, seeded, & chopped
1 medium sweet potato, peeled & chopped
1 pound potatoes, preferably yukon gold, peeled & cut into bite-sized pieces
1/4 cup coconut milk
2 tablespoons smooth peanut butter (with no added oil, sugar, or salt)
1 pound collard greens, stemmed & coarsely chopped
2 cups cooked beans, such as chickpeas, rattlesnake, or tongues of fire, drained & rinsed

METHOD
heat the oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. when it’s hot, add the onion, ginger, garlic, & cilantro. reduce the heat to medium & sauté, stirring often, until the onion is soft & translucent, about 7 minutes. add the bell pepper, jalapeno, cumin, mustard seeds, coriander, turmeric, paprika, & cayenne. stir to blend. stir in the tomatoes, sweet potato, & potatoes. cover & let simmer over medium-low, until the potatoes have cooked through, about 15 minutes.

combine the coconut milk & peanut butter, & stir until smooth. add them to the skillet along with the collards & beans. cook until the collards turn bright green, about 4 minutes. cover & let the curry sit for 20 minutes before serving.

DEVIATIONS & OBSERVATIONS
ok, first off, you know substitutions have to be made: caroline said that collard greens are bitter, so i switched spinach in instead, & i 86ed the beans altogether b/c i forgot to soak the stupid chickpeas overnight & only had a can of kidney beans which just didn’t look very appealing with the rest of the dish.

also, we all know that there’s no way all of this would fit in a skillet. GET SERIOUS, JERKO. i put it all in big stockpot & that worked just fine.

oh, & to get one more not-so-petty detail out of the way: 20 minutes of preparation time? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR DAMN MIND??? if i told you it took me almost two hours to get everything prepped, i wouldn’t be lying. ALMOST TWO HOURS. OK. just keep that in mind as i tell you about making this recipe.

just SOME of the prepped ingredients:
spinach, ginger, cilantro, roasted red pepper & jalapeno

more prepped ingredients:
potatoes (sweet & yukon gold), peppers again, onion, peeled & seeded tomatoes

now i’m not sure if you know this, b/c i didn’t till i first tried to make manicotti with fresh spinach (& ps, my mom’s recipe is awesome & maybe i’ll get that together for you sometime in the near future), but spinach cooks down a hell of a lot, so while a pound of uncooked spinach can (& did) fill a huge stockpot, once the leaves start cooking, they wilt & leave you with a much more manageable amount. had i not known this, i would’ve been tempted to cut way back on the spinach, so a helpful hint from me to you: DON’T.

so i learned how to roast peppers before, & i basically followed the same general principle this time around, though i didn’t douse them with oil before i put them in the oven. they charred a bit, but i guess i forgot that they need to get REALLY BLACK all around or the skin just doesn’t want to come off very easily. so i sort of half-assed it. WHATEVER, YOU WOULD’VE DONE THE SAME.

& after watching ridiculous amounts of the food network off & on since college, i have to admit to being a tiny bit panicky about working with a hot pepper, which i’d avoided up to this date b/c i’d heard horror stories (from alton brown & rachael ray, among others) about people burning their eyes, going insane, etc etc, so i was nervous about the jalapeno but ultimately, it was fine. i know the hot part is the seeds, so when i was seeding it, i was very careful to wear plastic bags over both hands (since i’m notorious for wiping my hands on my pants & then touching my face), & i felt kinda dumb but i didn’t go blind, & isn’t that all we can ask for in this day & age? to maybe not be blinded by our delicious hot peppers?

dealing with the tomatoes was a royal pain in my ass, too — moreso than the peppers for some reason, even though secretly they were WAY easier to peel (slice through the skin a couple times near the stem & dump them in some boiling water for maybe 30 seconds, remove, cool, & peel!) — & of course there was the stemming & tearing of the spinach, the peeling & chopping of the potatoes, & the peeling & grating of the ginger to add more & more time to the initial prep work. seriously, 20 minutes? are these people just insane? i don’t understand how that works.

peeled tomato

the obligatory “sautéeing onions” shot

once everything was finally ready, though, it was pretty easy to cook & assemble. i made up a few servings of rice while everything simmered, although it turned out that i had to double the time once the potatoes were added b/c they just wouldn’t get soft. it was definitely a smart move to make that pizza to tide us over, b/c eating dinner at 830pm? does not fly in this household.

simmer simmer simmer

with spinach & peanut sauce

so i guess you want to know how it tasted.

in a word: bland.

yeah, i know, it shocked me, too. how can something with all those spices be bland? & yet. & yet it just was. caroline said: “it tastes like rice & potatoes.” & that’s pretty much it. so, you know, if i’d spent 15 minutes making rice & potatoes, fine — but over two hours of work? HELL NO. i can barely bother listing out potential improvements; i mean, i guess maybe more bell peppers? 100% sweet potato instead of a sweet potato/yukon gold combination? more ginger & garlic? more sauce in general? i don’t even know.

daniel’s plate (sans spinach)

my plate

i mean, it wasn’t BAD — we all ate it, caroline, brian, even daniel (i set some aside for him without spinach & peanut sauce b/c he doesn’t like either of those things) — but would i make it again? uh, as my cousin jennifer would say, MONKEYS. as in, MONKEYS will need to fly out of my ass before i make this again.

the infamous brian potts & daniel

 

READER COMMENTS
moose says:
the recipe says to add the cilantro with the onion?! that is SO MUCH BULLSHIT. cilantro won’t taste like anything if you cook it that long! it’s a garnish. (i love cilantro, my mom cooks it too long, i get shouty.) also, that does look more like two hours of prep time to me. cookbooks always lie about prep time.

i jalapenoed my nose/lips once and owwwww. later i read somewhere that the thing to do in a jalapeno face emergency is splash contact lens solution on your skin. who knew?

meg says:
Spinach’s ability to shrink also freaked me out the first time I sauteed it. Seriously, it just GOES AWAY.

Also, wtf were collard greens doing in a curry recipe to begin with? Also tomatoes and beans? Where were the yummy curry vegetables? Like carrots? Carrots taste good in curry! Also so does tofu! Shit, vegan cookbook, give it up for tofu! Also it seems like roasting veggies before sauteeing them is the recipe fundamentally misunderstanding what a sautee/curry recipe should be. I’m guessing the roast was meant to seal in some sort of flavor, but if it came off bland regardless, they were totally wasting your time.

I feel like the fact that the coconut milk and peanut was added last was one of the big faults of this recipe. Since a curry sauce is all about the sauce, shouldn’t we COOK it with the spices, not “combine” and then “let sit”?! I want my liquid there AT THE SCENE, like I’d do when I was making soup. Cook the veggies, add the liquid, then spice it and cook it.

Wow, I’ve never had such a strong reaction to OMG SNAX. I’m gonna go cool off.

schlaf says:
sweet potatoes
you are obsessed with them!!
also, I like collard greens, when they are garlicky. but I was wondering if they would have absorbed the spices more than spinach?? (less watery) - just a thought.
not that I’ll ever try that recipe, though. way too many ingredients.
blah.

 

 

“Peanut Curry with Sweet Potato & Collard Greens” from The Essential Vegetarian Cookbook by Diana Shaw, © 1997.

i found this coconut curry tofu recipe last week on allrecipes.com via a vegan recipes community on livejournal & was determined to try it. i was nervous b/c i’d never made anything like it before, & i knew i was going to modify the ingredients substantially, thus dramatically upping the chances of disaster, but i felt i had to forge ahead in the name of science.

so forge ahead i did.

INGREDIENTS
2 bunches green onions
1 14-ounce can light coconut milk
1/4 cup soy sauce, divided
1/2 teaspoon brown sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons curry powder
1 teaspoon minced fresh ginger
2 teaspoons chile paste
1 pound firm tofu, cut into 3/4 inch cubes
4 roma (plum) tomatoes, chopped
1 yellow bell pepper, thinly sliced
4 ounces fresh mushrooms, chopped
1/4 cup chopped fresh basil
4 cups chopped bok choy
salt to taste

METHOD
remove white parts of green onions, & finely chop. chop greens into 2-inch pieces. in a large heavy skillet over medium heat, mix coconut milk, 3 tablespoons soy sauce, brown sugar, curry powder, ginger, & chile paste. bring to a boil. stir tofu, tomatoes, yellow pepper, mushrooms, & finely chopped green onions into the skillet. cover, & cook 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. mix in basil & bok choy. season with salt & remaining soy sauce. continue cooking 5 minutes, or until vegetables are tender but crisp. garnish with remaning green onion.

DEVIATIONS & OBSERVATIONS
so … i really like broccoli. i like the way it soaks up sauces in thai & vietnamese food, although i really like it with almost anything as long as it’s just slightly overcooked. bok choy, on the other hand, i could take or leave. so i substituted broccoli for bok choy.

chopped vegetables

i also eliminated the tomatoes (not in season), the bell pepper (didn’t want it), & the mushrooms (ew gross). i should’ve made more broccoli to compensate, but i didn’t.

additionally, i drastically reduced the green onions (used maybe half a bunch instead of two full bunches) & added a small chopped white onion instead. i’m not sure how much of a difference that made. i also added 3 cloves of garlic, just for the hell of it.

oh, & i didn’t have curry powder, so i just added equal parts cumin, tumeric, & red pepper instead, & doubled up on the ginger. i also used cilantro instead of basil b/c i see cilantro all the time at thai & vietnamese restaurants, whereas for me, basil has more of an italiany taste.

so i guess it’s kind of almost an entirely different recipe? but still really good.

i put my latke-making know-how into the task of frying tofu

the last change i made was that i fried the tofu in peanut oil before i added it to the sauce. (i actually fried it up before making the sauce at all b/c i only have one skillet.) i’d never fried tofu before, but a waiter told me once that peanut oil was the secret, so i poured a few tablespoons of peanut oil into the skillet (which probably would’ve worked better were my burner not off-kilter & slanty), heated it, & plopped the tofu cubes in. it took WAY longer to fry than i thought it would, but my patience paid off & the tofu got golden & crispy on the outside. i am REALLY proud of myself for figuring that part out — especially without guidance from a recipe — & now that i know how to do it, i’ll probably be doing it a lot more often. & you can drain it on paper towels after it’s done, so that probably helps marginally with the grease factor.

golden tofu

the sauce initially looked like it was never going to come together — the coconut milk was all separated & weird-looking, the spices were clumpy, the chile paste wouldn’t mix in, & i forgot to saute the onions in advance — but i just dumped it all in & crossed my fingers & it actually totally worked out.

i should’ve taken a photo when it looked horrible

the spices still need a little fine-tuning, & that may be mostly to do with the improvised curry powder, & i REALLY should’ve made rice to go with it, but by the time i thought about it, everything was almost finished & the rice i have takes about half an hour to make, so no go. i did make rice afterwards & i poured the leftover sauce in with the rice, b/c i really needed to either halve the sauce recipe or triple the amount of broccoli (& use a full package of tofu instead of a half, which is what i did).

the finished dish

daniel hated it, but he apparently hates coconut milk, so there you go. i asked him if he didn’t like it b/c of the spices, & he said, “no, i don’t like it b/c it’s bad.” at least he’s honest!

 

 

“Coconut Curry Tofu” from allrecipes.com.

so i have to be honest: the first time i had indian food, i did so b/c of the tv show Red Dwarf. i went to House of India on delmar with joyce (& probably theresa), &, like lister on the show, i ordered a vindaloo. b/c i knew nothing else about what to order. at. all.

i don’t remember much of the vindaloo; what i remember is that whatever joyce got was WAY better. & so over the years, i sort of sporadically ate at House of India & never really found exactly what it was i wanted — till one evening maybe nine months after i stopped eating meat, i went with my new friend phil & let him order for me. he got chana masala & palak paneer, & i’m not kidding when i say it was some of the best stuff i’d ever had — mostly vegetables i thought i couldn’t stand, combined exquisitely.

since then, i’ve tried on a couple different occasions to recreate the chana masala dish, usually failing pretty miserably at coming up with a correct combination of spices. one time i made a dish that was incredibly spicy & totally without flavor (yes, it’s possible), & one time i made a dish that was bland & a little salty, & so tonight i made my third chana masala attempt, thanks to an emailed recipe from my friend shelly.

INGREDIENTS
1/2 to 1 onion
1 to 2 cloves garlic
2 tablespoons olive oil or butter
3 large/4 medium tomatoes, chopped, or 2 large cans diced tomatoes with half juice reserved
2 cans chickpeas, drained
1/2 teaspoon turmeric
1 heaping teaspoon cumin
1 heaping teaspoon coriander
1 heaping teaspoon ginger
1 tablespoon yellow mustard seed
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon cloves
2 dried bay leaves
salt & pepper to taste

(* instead of coriander, cinnamon, & cloves, you can use 1 teaspoon garam masala)

METHOD
heat olive oil & add mustard seed — cover immediately until mustard seeds stop popping. add garlic & onions to sautée until soft & transparent. add spices (except bay leaves) until the mixture resembles a sauce/gravy (this sounds SO southern of me, but i swear, it’s not). add tomatoes & bay leaves. let simmer over medium heat for five minutes. add both cans of garbanzo beans. let simmer for another 10 minutes at least. remove bay leaves before serving. i usually set mine on med-low for about 25 to 45 minutes so the beans can get softer. i always serve it over basmati rice, but i know a lot of people just eat it plain.

DEVIATIONS & OBSERVATIONS
so a couple things maybe went wrong here:

(1) i got powdered mustard seed. like, specifically. like, daniel picked out whole mustard seeds & i said, oh no, i need dried powdered mustard seed. but maybe not?

onions & spices

(2) i think the fact that i didn’t use whole mustard seeds made the whole thing a little bit drier. as in, maybe there wasn’t enough oil? there definitely wasn’t any kind of gravy thing going on, i can say that much.

i feel like everything i cook has tons of onions

(3) caroline measured the rest of the spices, & it’s possible that she accidentally halved everything. but we couldn’t figure it out for sure, so maybe not. also, we definitely used garam masala instead of coriander, cinnamon, & cloves, & maybe that was a mistake?

that being said, it smelled right. it really did. i’m pretty sure this is the exact spice combination i wanted. maybe minus a little of the cumin, but that’s totally personal preference.

but you know what? it didn’t taste quite right. i believe brett said, “it wasn’t that bad.” i don’t know — what i SHOULD’VE done was emailed/texted/called shelly to clarify a few points, but instead i muddled through & didn’t do it right & it just wasn’t what i was hoping for. which seemed to be the consensus: it was pretty good, but not good enough. i feel bummed — b/c i really thought shelly’s recipe was finally going to be the one! i think maybe it was a combination of sloppy direction-following on my part (& caroline’s) & high expectations.

adding chickpeas

simmering

i feel like that’s pretty much the OMGSNAX! trend thus far — food that is right in theory but falls short in practice. maybe i’m too ambitious.

the finished dish

 

 

“Karma Cleansing Channa Masala” from shelly